I’ve realized more and more how important the people in my life are to me.  They aren’t all necessarily my best friends, my favorite people, or my role models— but instead each one of the good, the bad, and the ugly are all essential to my whole being.  I’ve realized that people do deserve second chances, and sometimes you need  to find all the wrong people to reassure yourself of your morals, values, and your overall personal character.  & yet sometimes, you may also need them to question what you’ve become so comfortable understanding, accepting… being.  

I was put in a situation where I questioned myself.  I took the chance, not out of fear or uncertainty, but out of simple curiosity.  The further I dug myself into this world, I found more of myself.  I realized that, sure as hell, I knew what I wanted.. & this wasn’t it.  I didn’t want to get out of the situation, but rather help it surface into a reality for someone else to realize the extent of their own being, own choices. 

Someone told me today that they don’t need friends, that it’s a waste of time.  I can’t tell you how hard it is for me to understand this.  I honestly, truly believe that the people you meet are put in your life for a reason— however unimportant they may seem to you.  It is not simply by chance.  For instance, the person who told me that they don’t need friends in their life made it easier for me to argue how important they were in mine for stating such an idea.  By them saying this, I not only reassured myself of my belief that everyone is in your life for a reason, but I also realized how such a seemingly insignificant person can be such a powerful push towards more appreciation and acknowledgment to individuality.  

I was also told today by a different person that I was really friendly and that I get along with everyone.  This made me smile, because I want others to know that giving a chance to anyone, without society’s disoriented views and stereotypes, can accentuate your personal views.  Today definitely helped me realize how much I appreciate the people in my life, especially one specific person that I wouldn’t give up for the world. 

Why do people take advantage of these words?  There are so many people out there who long to hear this— sweet words like “I love you.” Why can’t people appreciate and understand how lucky they are to hear this spoken to them?

heartbroken, but still madly in love<3 :(

you’d think I’d learn by now..

but to where?

I was walking into a gas station today to go prepay for gas and get some power steering fluid, only to get stopped by a stranger in her car who rolled down her windows to tell me that I was pretty.

Living in a city with a lot of poverty, I’ve noticed many people are scared/uncomfortable with their surroundings & immediately cast off unfamiliar people who may not have much.  But today, I looked into a woman’s eye who wanted/asked for nothing.  She wasn’t necessarily poor, but she wasn’t rich.  She was a normal woman, a sweet sweet stranger, who little did she know, made someone’s day.  & that someone was me. 

I don’t go around asking for compliments or praise, but having it come from someone genuine, someone who may not have much to offer but a smile and sweet hello, is so much more worthwhile to hear.  Today, she is the person I will look up to.  I want to offer more than materialistic items; I want to brighten someone’s day and let them know how beautiful they are, like this sweet woman did to me. 

I had a pretty long day today.. with a somewhat bummed feeling.  A mix of lonely, tired, incomplete, unsatisfied. 

The one thing that put a smile on my face, a genuine smile, was talking to an old friend.  The old friend that I thought I had lost.  The old friend that had made me laugh and cry.  No words can express how truly relieved and happy to have that person back.  They may not be that big of a part in my life as they used to be, but having them there again, as a friend, makes me so wonderfully grateful. <3

Today, I realized how lucky I am to be me.. to be living in a world with beauty, evil, heartbreak, and love.  It must be the rain, but I feel like I just woke up to reality.  Not the ugly reality that everyone talks about.. —the beautiful reality. I realized how happy I am to be living my life the way I am today.  I am so grateful for the wonderful people who have entered my life, friends- old and new, and of course my forever family.  I am so grateful to have such an amazing boyfriend.  I am so grateful to have experienced/still experiencing LOVE. —not just the love that you see in fairy tales & Disney movies.. the love that God has wanted for us to experience.. The love that many people seem to reject/refuse.

I just wanted to share my happiness, my “me” time.  I hope that you will have a day like this.. a day that you realize you are alive for a reason, a purpose.

For me, today was a blessing.

I really wish I had someone to vent to sometimes.  Ever since I moved back, it definitely is a lot harder to find someone to open up to.  I don’t have anyone to vent or really talk to about bad days.  It gets tougher every time I try to hold in my emotion, anger, disappointment, especially if it keeps piling up.  It also sucks when the one person you really count on isn’t there or acts like they could care less.  I can only hide behind a smile for so long.  I can only push aside so many things that bother me.  Obviously, I’m only human.

I guess I’m just glad I have tumblr.
It’s days like this that I start missing the people I loved being around and being comfortable with.